I’ve not felt well lately, very tired and stressed. Part of this comes from having a lot of appointments scheduled. A big part of it however comes from wanting to do to much. I don’t want to do extraordinary stuff
— although for my condition it would qualify as such. I want to do stuff other people consider normal.
- Walk the dog for an extra long time.
- Buying groceries.
- Hanging out with friends.
- Visit family.
- Go to the movies.
- Randomly hop into the car with TG and go for a nice beach-walk.
All of these things require planning on my side, which also sucks up precious energy.
A couple of days ago I read Michael Nobbs’ new book Sustainable Creativity in which he discusses the importance of learning how to say ‘no’. For some areas I know when to say ‘no’: I can easily say it when I don’t want to do something, or I don’t have the time, or I have other plans. But at those times when I don’t have plans yet, I really want to do it and think I have the energy, I won’t say no. And this backfires. I rarely do have that much energy, and end up canceling many things. This does not make me happy.
Tonight I watched the movie ‘Yes-man ‘ and it gave me an idea. What if I say ‘no’ instead? I have things planned (and one not-yet-planned-but-sorta) and won’t _pre_cancel them. I will not make new plans however, excluding the ones where I go to the hospital (or other medical stuff) or where people come to my house (less tiring).
This May sound a little drastic, but I gave it some thought and it seems like a cool experiment. Worst case, I’ll feel bad the day after for saying ‘no’ and then I’ll have learned I said ‘no’ to something that matters to me. In a way, this will force me to re-evaluate things that matter to me most, and these May or May not include the things I think matter the most.
It will also, hopefully, give me some practice in saying ‘no’ when I do think I have lots of energy (but actually don’t and I end up wasting all of my reserves).
I have no idea about how long I want to do this, considering a month or perhaps until New Year